Pants 0. Shit 1.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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