Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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