He uses pillows to masturbate.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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