so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
