she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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