She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
