if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
