so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
