She announced her abortion via fbk
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
