Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
