was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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