I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
