Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
