The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
