how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
