good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
