you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
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