hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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