So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
