My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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