erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
