loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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