Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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