the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
