good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
