she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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