I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
