are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
