I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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