GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize