I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
