I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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