you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Less talking, more tequila
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
