he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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