You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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