i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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