I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
