So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize