i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
