I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
