Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
