It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
