I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
