I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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