Can Purell be used as lube?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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