does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
