Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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