Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
