I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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