She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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