oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
