I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
