Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
