I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
