Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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