i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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