fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
