that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
