paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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